Bish Bash Bosh

Salam y'all!!

So here I am on a Monday morning. First day of the semester I’m already cutting class. Although in my defence it is a boring class, and by boring I mean I would rather chew my nails (this coming from a girl who doesn’t even bite her nails).

So I’ve been well. Just been trying to take advantage of the Easter break (or spring break as my friends on the other side of the pond call it). It has been a busy two weeks. I had plans of relaxing, spending most of it in my pj’s and mopping around. Then again we plan and Allah plans. I had family come over….some I met before and others I was meeting for the first time. It was surprisingly nice. Most of them were the same age group as my parents but we got along good. I met two new cousins (to be fair they weren’t new….just new to me) around the same age group as me. They were siblings but I met them on separate days. Met the brother first….he seemed nice, although we only spent less than five minutes together. The sister on the other hand I spent longer with…..a whole afternoon. Super girl…..timid but strong and she is also funny (great sense of humour). Quite clever as well…..came up with this cool contraption for my kitchen.

Highlight of the week was going to White African’s wedding party. It was beautiful…..mashaAllah. I enjoyed myself immensely and the bride looked gorgeous……mashaAllah. It was a chance for me to meet the gang. It has been a while since we were all under the same roof at the same time. Made some new friends. Picked up some new dance moves. And all this while looking hot (hey….I gotta stroke the ego….I need it lol)

May White African be blessed with a marriage filled with kheyr and barakah and may you and your hubby be the ones that elevate each other to a higher status in Jannah. Ameen thuma ameen

Bring on the next aroos…….it has been wedding season up here. Seems like the girls are all getting knocked down one by one like a bowling pin (not a great analogy I know…..but its Monday and I’m slow). Ever, White African then inshaAllah Naima.

Wonder who is next?

I leave you with Salam and barakah

InshaAllah kheyr

Like a headless chicken

I know I don’t tend to update as much as I should but this semester has been super busy. Stuff, stuff and more stuff! Yea, big tings a gwan and I a try to tackle dem. Seriously though…..bear with me. I have a crazy load of assignments and exams to revise for, applications to reply to, send and review. Couple that with my actual personal life...............its busy busy! So please, please, please……make lots of dua for this Native inshaAllah

Fee aman Allah guys!

Another year bites the dust!

It’s a glorious day today. It’s the day I came into the world….covered in amnion and screaming my lungs out. Two weeks overdue and letting everybody know it lol. That’s right, Native is celebrating her birthday. A year has gone by………I don’t feel taller and I’m none the wiser. My biggest disappointment though is that my shoe size didn’t grow…..I’m still stuck at 3 (that’s UK size by the way……US size 5.5 and Euro size 35.5) , I am still clinging on little hope. Can a 20 something year old increase in shoe size? Weirder stuff has happened lol

My shoe size aside…..when I was 10yrs old I thought that by the time I celebrated my 23rd b’day…. I would have been done with school, have a family of my own and at least know how to drive.

Well I’m still in school, and I haven’t learned how to drive yet (probably because I will spend most of my time getting lost or in my thoughts while driving. My parents have been pushing me to drive since God knows when….maybe I’ll do that before my next b’day). Family of my own…..that’s another issue that deserves a post of its own.

My goal for this year? To get through life…….the rest will fall into place inshaAllah

I’ll post more later (or more accurately another day) inshaAllah, right now I want you all to make dua that this year is one that is filled with kheyr for all of us ameen

May Allah grant all the mu’mineen more years to spend in his worship and may Allah guide the misguided and make us of the guided ameen

Drama Drama Drama Part 1

This has also been done in a hurry like my previous post so please read with patience!


I know it has been a bit but before you start praying jannazah for my corner of the blogsphere let me just say I’m sorry. I should have regularly updated!
However I can’t promise that my I won’t do it again. Such is Native’s life these days. Too hectic!

Anyway guys…………a lot has happened since I last blogged. We have entered a new year in both the Gregorian calendar and Islamic calendar. Benazir Bhutto was assassinated and the Pakistan elections delayed. Mozambique was and still is going through a flooding disaster. Heath Ledger died of possible drug overdose (sleeping pills) and Kenyans went to vote and got disappointed (the majority anyway). Political situation there is unstable and they say the country is in a state of anarchy. It’s worrying because my whole family lives there………but inshaAllah kheyr.

School has been eventful. Never has so much drama unfolded in the space of a few months. We are halfway through the 2nd semester and already a hell of a lot has happened!

Let me first introduce to you a few more characters:

Mr Playboy: This is the tutor. Overly confident and sure of himself. Knows his stuff and a good teacher in his specialist subject. However even though he appears confident I think he has self esteem issues…….always talks about ethos he demonstrated he clearly can’t keep.

The latecomer: Walks in late for every lecture clutching a hot cup of coffee. Can be a bitch but what you see is what you get with her. She keeps it real, always hangs out with the Black guy an the Twisted guy

Ms Nice: I might be biased toward this person as I have known her forever. We live together and share all the lectures and tutorials. She is my other half according to the rest of the class………..she is the good cop and I’m the bad cop. Seems nice at first but once her she reaches her threshold…………let’s just say I don’t want to be there when sh*t hits the fan!

So this is what’s been going on…………

The Token gay has gone part-time due some family problems (his mother is ill) and the Zionist has made a return.

Ms helpful and Good looking girl were accused and reported of cheating by Over-eager guy. Fortunately for them the matter was worked out with the discretion of the tutor and class.

Two of our lectures were under moderation due to complaints raised by the class……

Back to the cheating drama………it was our first physics paper and we were all anxious especially those that have never done physics before. The paper wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and most aced it. Only two out of twenty failed!

So Good looking girl and Ms Helpful were sitting near each other with Over eager guy sitting in the same row too. Good looking girl was having problems with one of the questions and got some help from Ms Helpful. Over eager guy was really struggling with the paper.

Two weeks later (on Thursday) we got our results and Ms Helpful and Good looking girl did great the each scored over 85%. Over eager guy didn’t do as well.

Friday (of the same week we got our physics papers back), Mr Playboy announces to the class that he received an anonymous email about two people (who had been named) cheating in the paper. This was in the morning…….through playing mind games with the class (by announcing to the class……then mentioning that the person needs to come clean if they have the correct morals and ethics of becoming a doctor . Within a few hours, Over eager guy was confessing to the class (everybody accused the ‘emailee’ of being a coward and making accusations without depth). The class called for an investigation and for the ‘cheaters’ to be kicked of the course. At this point they all thought it was Ms Nice and I.

I spoke to Over eager guy and told him to report my name if I was the one of the two that cheated.
“You don’t hold my fate in your hands guy and if I am to succeed in this it wouldn’t be because of you. I have faith in a higher power and what is meant to be will be” I said. Little did I know that Ms Nice said more or less the same thing a few minutes ago.

Anyway it turned out it wasn’t us and all was good on our part…….however tension is now thick and very evident in the class. Nobody likes Over eager guy or feels comfortable around him (who likes a grass). He only accused the two because they scored more than him and he only respects us because he thinks we will beat him (or at least hire people to) since we live in the ghetto ( we don’t even have the time of the day for him)

Good looking girl can’t stand Ms Helpful, however she pretends to be her best friend. Ms Helpful and Good looking both pretend to still like Over eager guy but when he is not around they say things behind his back.

Good looking girl says things behind everybody’s back.

Ms Nice and I always stay in the background…..we spend our school hours in lectures or the library. A lot of our classmates are intimidated by our closeness because they have take on two us as we come in a pair.

There is so much more but will fill you all in another day……my eyes are watering and my fingers are tired.

There is way more to come lol……if you’ve not already had enough of this that is.

P.S I wanna beat the crap out of most people in the class with a cane like they did in Africa so I can teach them a lesson. Most of them are worse than a bunch of pre-teens!

The update?

So it been a while since I wrote anything on my so called corner of the blog-sphere. I have a bit to say, I just can't find the time to say it. Full-time studying and the fact that my laptop has finally given up on me has taken its toll on my regular updates.


I did this in a hurry so overlook any mistakes and read with patience! :)

What been happening in my life then?

I went back to school....yea, I am back to being a trampy student. Jeans, converses and weathered book bag......hold on...I've always looked like that lol. I was getting confused there for a minute. So anyway...am back at school, studying once more with all these different characters.

The token gay guy: for the first two weeks I kept looking for the new girl in the class only to find that it was him....he has a soft high-pitched voice and wants to do us to dinner some time lol. He works as a dietitian so he gives me a lot of tips on where to find gluten free products (that's cool).

The good looking guy: and he is Somali. Kind and helpfull guy but overcritical and impatient. He is a very good looking guy and every time the other girls see me with him I get these weird looks (for some reason he likes to hang with me...maybe coz I remind him of prayer times). Now here's the shocker.....I don't fancy him. I am known to be a naturalist and appreciate natures beauty but he just doesn't do it for me.....

The good looking girl: tall (5,11"), beautiful....she is due to apply to Britain's top model. There's my call to fame! She is a nice girl and always asks me questions about Islam (she is a non-practising roman Catholic). She thinks I am cool coz I am always laid back and chilled out (kinda like a person high on weed....but I am clean.....no really I am!).

The over eager guy: He is a sweetheart.....spends ridiculous amounts of time researching universities, courses, class notes, lectures, concepts. You name it and he probably has a mini book on it. Always asking questions and a real hard-worker. I suppose he has a lot to prove since he sustained a head injury a few years back and spent a lot of time in hospital.

The black guy: Lives in the same hood as me. Call us his posse.....and generally jokes around. He has travelled extensively in South East Asia but if you see him you wouldn't think so. Loves his women (true black man in that sense lol). Keeps it real!

The gossip: This girl wants to know each and everyone's life story. The most inquisitive person I have ever met (about other people life) and she doesnt shy away from akward questions either. She talks for England and then some too!

The class clown: middle class white boy who fancies himself as a bit of joker and in his defence he is funny most of the time. He is also the trampy dressed boy who is a bit of an activist. Always wears these cool t-shirts that make a statement (I want his t-shirts.....) He pulls these classic faces that are just rib aching (yea...I still find funny faces funny)

The Zionist: He did two years in the Israeli army always flaunts it in the face of Muslims. Tells us about how he is a devout follower of his religion (good on him) and how he believes in the Israeli right to independence (he is entitled to his own opinion). Has these dark stunning, long eye-lashes! Quit the course.....maybe because of the overwhelming number of Muslims?

Ms helpfull: Knows when all assignments are due....always helping me withe extra notes. Calling me in the morning so I don't run late...calls me her daughter (she is around 36). Drives a nice black 4x4 with tinted windows which sometime parks in the middle of the car park (the part where the drive in and not park). She says I am a 'no-nonsense spiritual'. Her grandfather is from Muslim Yemeni (in that sense I say she my sister) but she is a Christian. Says she wants to find me man (according to her I would go for a tall athletically built guy who is laid back......that would be nice.....these days I don't have types any more...)

The twisted guy: This guy is really f***ed up! He spreads rumour and verbally abuses people in his language (I understand some of the words he says). He pretends to be everyone friend but he is there to use everyone (so he can get form point A to point B). The first thing he asked me was how much of the Qur'an I memorised...a few days later he told me he works with Jinns and they helped him find his missing sister. He is constantly swearing and saying he aint Somali (thank God he aint......plus it is crystal clear to everyone he a non-Somali as he is white Arab). I can't stand him and I believe he is aware of it.......probably writing down a hex for me....I have Allah as my protector (inshaAllah kheyr)


A few weeks back the class clown wore a t-shirt that said 'FREE PALESTINE'. The Zionist made a huge deal about, asking him to take it off as he was offended. He asked whether the class clown would feel comfortable if he wore a t-shirt that said 'I support the 7/7 terrorist'. The class clown backed down and promised not to wear the t-shirt again.
I wasn't there when this happened...I walked into class a few minutes later. I was so p***ed off with the class clown. I asked him if he believed in what the t-shirt say and he said he did. Then why back down for something you believe in huh? Why suppress your freedom of expression?
I told the Zionist I didn't share his believes or freedom. He wore an Israeli army sweatshirt that I found offensive but I didn't curb his freedom of expression.
My sister asked if the logo had a picture of a bumble bee (it was a hornet according to him) and he was so offended, he looked like he was gonna cry. We didn't even know that we hit a nerve. Apparently she bruised his manhood without even trying. Maskeen

Overall I have a lot of fun in class...so far everything is going good. The lectures are bearable and I am right on track, alhamdulillah. My classmates in general are nice people and there is a warm atmosphere (even the lecturers have commented on it), we are keen to help each other and keep it real with each other too.

RAMADHAN KAREEM SISTERS AND BROTHERS IN ISLAM

Salaam all. Believe it or not the Month of mercy is upon us once more. Alhamdulillah we have once again been blessed with the opportunity to better ourselves. To tighten our ties with the Merciful and to seek forgiveness and guidance. This is the month when a great number of people (can’t remember the actual number) will be saved from Hell Fire. It is the month of Rahma….when we are surrounded by Allah’s mercy, tranquillity and the gates of paradise are wide open. It is the month of guidance…..the shayaatins are locked in shackles and the gates of Hell Fire are shut.

Sisters and brothers in Islam, let us make the most of this Ramadhan. Only Allah is aware if we will witness the next one. Let us use this month as a stepping stone to increase our imaan, to get closer to our creator and exercise some self control. InshaAllah I pray we all improve our Islamic character however small or big it may seem.

May we be among the ones saved form the Hell Fire on this Month of Mercy. I pray that we are all granted what is kheyr . May we benefit and make the most of Ramadhan. May the Angels always protect us and may happiness and blessing always surround us. May Allah’s love enfold us, may His power protect us, may his presence guide us and his blessing pour over us always.
Ameen thuma ameen.

InshaAllah kheyr

THNX!!

Where has summer gone?

By the way guys......jazakumullahu kheyran for the dua.....I got accepted onto the course alhamdulillah.

Now make dua for me that I pass it with flying colours inshaAllah :)

Till soon.....inshaAllah kheyr!